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Dublin: 14 °C Tuesday 5 November, 2024

18 things that women only do in films

*takes off glasses* I’m hot now!

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1. The helmet hair thing. You know, when they take off the helmet and the hair goes whoooosh

2. Live in ridiculously nice apartments no matter what their income, with absolutely no black mould or crying chairs

3. Have sex with a bra on

4. Have flawlessly shaved legs and underarms in all situations and time periods

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5. Finish having sex, lie back, and find themselves perfectly covered up by the duvet

6. Outrun monsters and killers in four-inch heels

7. Actually go downstairs in the middle of the night when they hear a noise

8. Slap a man across the face because he’s awful, then kiss him because ugh, he’s just so irresistible

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9. Get kidnapped as a ‘message’ to their powerful boyfriend/husband

10. Instantly become 100% more beautiful when they take off their glasses

11. Never seem to be taking the pill. Pregnancy could strike at any time

12. Only talk to each other about the men in their lives. What else would they discuss sure

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13. Move in slow motion

14. Give birth to sparkling clean, four-month-old babies

15. Wear matching lingerie pretty much all the time

16. Meet their beloveds by literally falling into their arms – because they’re such a klutz, tee hee!

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17. Climb out of swimming pools in a sexy way, and not a drowned rat way

18. And change clothes in front of a window, where the man that’s in love with them can conveniently see them (or their ~alluring silhouette~). Natural!

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Author
Valerie Loftus
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